Probably the most important part of the actual wedding ceremony itself (other than the official confirmation of becoming man and wife) is the marriage vows that you and your partner give to each other. While some people choose to stick with the customary text (i.e. I, [yourself], take you, [your partner], to be my husband…), I’m here to share why I feel very strongly in creating and reciting your own personal marriage vows for your wedding ceremony.
As someone who is typically reserved in public, I’ll admit that I had some concerns about reciting my own personal marriage vows for everyone in the ceremony to hear. Opening myself up with my thoughts about the man I was about to marry scared me beyond belief, especially because I was afraid that no matter how hard I tried, I would come off as insincere.
Eventually, when my mother realized just how much difficulty I was having with this task, she helped me through the process by simply asking me to list down all the things I loved about my partner. It wasn’t hard to do, but by simply listing them all down one by one, without regard for adding them to my wedding vows, I realized slowly but surely that everything on the list came straight from my heart. Using that list of heartfelt attributes that I loved about my partner made it so easy to transition right into personal wedding vows. And best of all, I recognized that everything I said would inevitably come off as sincere, simply because they were coming from my heart.
The day of my wedding, I still definitely had some nerves, although it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was feeling when our church priest suggested writing out our own marriage vows. But when the actual time came for me to recite my marriage vows, something amazing happened. As I began reciting my lines to my partner, I got lost in his eyes and it felt like it was only the two of us in the room. And I could recite my lines without hesitation or any nerves whatsoever.
When the last words of my marriage vows were finally recited, I could tell that my partner was tearing up, literally on the verge of crying, and that made me so happy. And I also realized something in this moment. It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of your marriage vows. The focus should literally be just between you and your partner, and no one else.
If you are ever having difficulty coming up with your own personal marriage vows, follow my lead and start simply with a list of things that you love about your partner. Once you get a nice long list, just try reading the list and imagine yourself talking directly to your partner about all the best things you love about him. The words should be coming straight from your heart and you should easily be able to translate those thoughts and feelings into specific vows that you want to make towards them.
Since your wedding is such a special occasion in your life, you should take full advantage of this moment in the spotlight to make the wedding vows as personal as possible, helping to make the moment one that you and your partner will cherish forever!