Dialogue and Compromise

As much as you may love your significant other, there will inevitably times when he just drives you crazy. And I bet he could say the same thing about you from time to time. In any marriage, there will always be times of disagreement, or just times when you get on each other’s nerves. But in these relatively low points during the course of your marriage, it is so important to not only have open dialogue, but also to compromise.

Having an open dialogue is the first step, and is vital to helping both of you understand the problem at hand. So many times, I have seen instances in which one partner was outraged at the other for some reason or the other, but because he or she didn’t explain what the issue was, it was literally impossible to solve the issue. And when this happens, not only does the issue not get solved, but it just ends up angering both parties and the situation spirals out of control.

So if you ever get mad at your partner, always make sure to make it as clear as possible what you are mad about. Even if you think it should be extremely obvious, don’t let that keep you from clearly laying out your issue with him or her. And if your partner is getting at you for seemingly no reason, try to get him to at the very least explain what he is upset about. Only then can the actual problem be addressed.

Now in some cases, the problem can be easily addressed by one person or the other explaining their behavior or simply refraining from doing it ever again. I know of one friend whose husband who would always leave his dirty socks by the door when he came in. But after discussing her annoyance with that particular habit, he quickly learned to change his behavior to prevent that from happening. Easy fix right?

However, more often than not, such disagreements cannot be so easily resolved. In these cases, it is necessary to compromise as much as possible. In other words, find some sort of middle ground that both parties can agree on and be satisfied with. For example, if your husband has a bad habit that you don’t like, a good compromise would be for him to at the very least not engage in said habit in your presence. Or if you guys can’t decide on what to eat for dinner, make an agreement that one person decides on dinner for tonight and the other person gets to decide on a future evening.

While a lot of this all may seem like common sense to some, unfortunately it is not always the case, especially for couples whose personalities clash in the sense that they always feel like they are right no matter what they do. And when such small arguments that never get resolved in a healthy way start to add up over time, they can become seriously detrimental to the overall health of the relationship. That’s why when resolving issues as a couple, it is imperative to always have an open dialogue and to be willing to compromise if necessary.