While this site is all about marriage, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you as the reader are already married, or even engaged for that matter. For some of you, this site is a way to fantasize and think about a beautiful and long-lasting marriage that you will hopefully be able to experience for yourself someday. In the spirit of that train of thought, I figured I should talk about what “finding the one” really means.
First off, finding the one does not mean that there is only one person that you are destined to be with. At least in my opinion. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and the idea that only one person can be your soulmate is just a huge fallacy. And if you are of that mindset, odds are that you just went through a rough breakup with said person, meaning all of those heavy emotions are causing you to overreact and think this way.
Finding the one also is not something that happens as soon as you meet them (i.e. love at first sight). In fact, if that’s the case with you, then you probably are simply infatuated with them, or the thought of being with them, rather than actually realizing that they are the one for you.
In this case, you should think long and hard about pursuing said person, especially with respect to a serious relationship. The expectations may just be too high and more often than not you will be disappointed in the end, either personality flaws that start to arise, or simply because he doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings that you do.
So I’ve listed out a bunch of fallacies about finding the one – but how do you actually know? I firmly believe that realizing who your life partner will be comes at a perfectly unordinary moment, rather than some big moment. For me, I was simply with my then-boyfriend enjoying a cup of coffee at Starbucks on my day off of work. The time passed and eventually we realized that we had been there for nearly two hours just talking and enjoying each other’s company.
In that seemingly insignificant moment, I knew that he was the one for me. And the reason I knew that he was the one is because I realized that I could literally be happy in any situation as long as he was by my side and living the moment with me. And just like that, what originally seemed like just another moment with my boyfriend turned into a moment that showed me where my life was headed.
So if you are still looking for the one, keep in mind that he may appear in your life when you least expect it, and even when you do start dating, you may not realize for quite some time that he is not just a boyfriend but a life partner. But when it happens, it will truly hit you, and hit you hard. You’ll realize in that random moment that spending all your time with him is what makes you truly happy. And as a result, you will have realized that he is the one for you.