Brie Walter

Honeymoon Thoughts

As much as we love the wedding ceremony itself, I would argue that as soon as the reception has begun, all you can think about is getting out of there and beginning your honeymoon. And why wouldn’t you? Especially after the long day (and potentially evening) meeting and greeting all sorts of long-lost family members and obscure people you may barely know. However, consummating the marriage is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to finally starting your honeymoon.

Yes, sex is great, especially that first time after officially becoming man and wife. And even more special if it is your first time period (and yes, contrary to belief, there are good reasons to remain sexually abstinent until marriage). But the honeymoon is not just about sex and intimacy, but also about settling into your roles as man and wife. No matter how much you’ve dreamed of being married and starting a family, or whatever the case may be, once it officially becomes a reality, you need to readjust your mindset.

For example, you need to get used to addressing each other as your “spouse” to third parties, something that you may have fantasized about in your head, but never actually have been able to do in practice. And you may need to get used to the physical proximity of sleeping in the same bed or sharing the same space in general. Plus many other subtle behavioral differences that come with the label of being “married”.

But most importantly, you need to start mentally preparing yourself for life after the honeymoon. Once your honeymoon is over, you need to go back to regular life – that means your job (which you may or may not like), to dealing with your family and friends, and bills and all sorts of other things are a part of life. There’s a reason they call it the “honeymoon phase”, and that’s because when you inevitably go back to the real world, life sometimes can hit you hard.

Now that you are married, you need to let you and your spouse take on life together, much more so than what may have been the case when you guys were just dating, or even when you guys were engaged. Because marriage makes it permanent unlike any other relationship status out there. You’ve committed to each other fully and despite what you may think, things get even more challenging as life moves on. You need to be able to count on your spouse for emotional support and the groundwork for such support starts during your honeymoon, as you start to bond more and more not just as romantic partners, but as life partners.

And I’m not saying that your honeymoon suddenly needs to become a chore. Because yes, the most important part of a honeymoon is having fun and enjoying each other’s companies while you are both disconnected from your job, your family and your friends. But it is important to keep in mind that honeymoons aren’t the end game of a marriage – It is just the start. Keeping that in mind and maintaining the proper mindset to prepare you for the life ahead, with all of its many challenges will only be beneficial not only for yourself, but for the health of your brand-new marriage.